Are you the type of person that ask for advice on everything? Before deciding on any topic, you run through all your family, friends, and everyone who wants to give you input? Have you ever happened that you are more lost when listening to all that advice or opinions than before?
If that resound to you, keep reading 🙂
The truth is that most of us, in front of an important decision, regarding what is important in our life. That being career, relationships, changing cities or countries, basically anything that will impact only our lives, nobody else.
We run to anyone we know to ask for advice, for a simple reason behind it. Avoid making a mistake.
Without knowing that will be exactly what will increase the percentage of making a mistake.
The first question we should ask ourselves at some point is:
Which kind of people I am surrounded by?
I am sure you have heard about the say, that we are the average of the five person’s we spent more time with. Let’s stop now, and think about it, who they are? What do they do? How do they behave?
I hope for your own sake that they are happy people, full of energy, have goals, have a lot of plans, and take steps to make them a reality. I hope they wake up every day with the will to give value to this world and do the inner work necessary to know more about themselves. People that do not waste their precious time talking about others and criticize everything.
If not! My advice is RUN.
Now that you know if you have these people as “advisors” or you haven’t. Do you think you can trust their advice? Now you know the answer, right?
But we never stop and analyze anything; we just tend to behave like we always did.
Sometimes we can spend days and weeks scrolling and read about stuff, investigating how to do the inner-work, and being more empowered. How to make that change we want to do. But we stop there, scrolling and saving IG posts, reading books, or watching tutorials on youtube. But we do not take action! You can learn more about it here.
That had the ring a bell to you? Are you one of these never-ending students, but you never take any action?
Today I want to share with you the four mistakes that we do asking people for advice:
- We don’t usually go to the right people – As much as I will love that when you think about the people surrounding you, you find out they are the right people. The odds are very low (it is the same for everyone). I needed to get rid of many people, to be surrounded by the right ones, which is painful, is not easy, so not everyone does it.
So asking them for advice won’t be the best idea. As bad it sounds, they don’t want you to succeed, and they want to drag you into the same situation they live in with no intention to get out.
2. If we go to our “parents” or dear family members, we add the pressure of disappointing them: When you ask for advice from a person that you love and respect (independently if that person is the right one or not to ask). We feel the pressure to follow that advice, to do not disappoint them, or fail them. We do not want them to get mad at us or stop supporting us.
3. People will give advice, from their point of view, and their experience: This is one of the most important ones. How can I get good advice to change my career from an unhappy person at work and has been stuck there for years and years? We need to ask people who have done what we want to do before us if we need advice.
4. What is best for us, only we can now, not other people: The most important of the four. When we talk about big decisions, they need to be aligned with our values, purpose, mission, vision. Important stuff that is key in our life, we cannot rely upon other people advice. We need to rely on inner-work, self-knowledge and the big picture (where do I want to be in five years?)
Most of the time, when we go to the crowds to seek advice, we are looking for validation. We go to someone that we know 100% what they will tell us. And that is precise; the excuse we need to keep being in our comfort zone, without any guilt.
And then you can openly lie to yourself and say; I tried and didn’t work out. And you can continue complaining about it; with a kind of a clean conscience.
Before being on this side of the keyboard, I was on the other side, just like you. Until I said enough, and I took ownership of my life.
I will leave you four top questions to ask you before asking anyone for advice:
- Are you seeking advice or validation?
- Is the person objective?
- Has the person done anything like that before?
- What my gut is telling me about that?
What are you waiting for if you want to start working on yourself and stop relying on others to validate or decide about your life?
I got a free guide to identify your blocks and discover your core values, to start that process of inner-work. Take the first step today and Download my guide into your heart-led career change.
I am delivering a workshop on the 14 of December. Going through the first steps of a career change, starting to do that inner-work, and taking responsibility to make the things we want to happen! Click here to sign up.
If you are committed to making this career change and doing the inner work. Instead of freaking out and convincing yourself to stay safe but not growing, and it looks like you are not getting anywhere by yourself. You realize you feel stuck and need someone to help you get through it. So let’s have a free vibe call! I got you!
Life is happening right now, and time is the only thing we will never get back, to lose it in a job where we spent most of our time that we hate.
Let’s design your Heart-led Career Change together right now!